


Kill Your Darlings

by Chummy



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, god atlus you had one job, i have a lot of feelings about akechi is this news? no, this isn’t p5r spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 21:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chummy/pseuds/Chummy
Summary: “I wish I had killed you.”Admittedly it caught him off guard.Admittedly, it shouldn’t have.





	Kill Your Darlings

“I wish I had killed you.” It was said softly, softer than the cotton sheets his attempted murderer currently laid in. 

Admittedly it caught him off guard. 

Admittedly, it shouldn’t have. 

It had been exactly two hours since their fight below the decks of Shido’s palace. Two hours since Goro Akechi took two steps forward, leaving his cognitive counterpart behind a barrier. Two hours since Akechi collapsed in Ryuji’s arms.

Less than two weeks since Akira played dead on a cold steel table. 

Such little time. He never thought it would turn out like this. 

He can’t say he hadn’t hoped it would. He was alive and so was Goro, that was all he could as for.

He knew all Akechi had gone through, the manipulation, the killings, his plan for revenge. He knew that wasn’t going to be a “Take a nap and everything will be better!” easy fix. 

So when he looked in his eyes, seeing equal parts anger at his foiled plans and something broken Akira couldn’t place, he wasn’t surprised. 

“Yeah well take a number, there’s plenty shadows that want a piece of me.” Akira said, as if he wasn’t just plainly threatened, as if this was an everyday thing, fluffing up pillows around Akechi’s head.

“You’re probably behind Makoto, or that dude that sits behind me in class.” He continued, as Akechi didn’t move, barely breathed, clutched onto the sheets around him. 

It was unspoken that Akechi would be going back to Leblanc, everyone pretended not to notice the tender hand Akira wrapped around Akechi’s as the train stopped at his station. 

They had the decency to start screaming once the click of shut train doors echoed around them.

The walk back was quiet, Akira didn’t know what to talk about if he had a word for word script in front of him. 

Akechi didn’t seem to mind the silence, he also didn’t pull away. 

So they continued. 

Sojiro’s usual greeting died in his throat as his eyes took in Goro Akechi, holding on to the boy he only a few days ago shot point blank. 

Akira tried not to let the way Akechi flinched at the look Sojiro threw at him break his heart more than it was. 

“We’ll be upstairs.” Is all he said, thankfully it was all Sojiro asked for as he didn’t say anything, simply let out a tired sigh. 

So there they were, one hell of a pair. Back in the attic that had become his home, sheltered so many memories, the attic that he knew Akechi hated. 

The attic that had seen their first kiss, had seen all Akira’s losses at chess, that had echoed Akechi’s plan, voice made of honey recounting his plan to kill Akira. 

Now it housed them yet again, two feet apart on the tiny bed, that knew Akechi's body all too well, ignoring every pressing question of the near future. 

“Why would she want to kill you?” It was said so quietly Akira thought he imagined it, almost looking around to see if Morgana had spoken before remembering Haru offering to take him home. 

Akechi was looking out the window, at least it looked like he was, his eyes distant.

But he was talking, Akira gladly took the distraction. 

“Hm, using my phone in class, sleeping in class, going out with Ryuji instead of studying.” The _ falling in love with the boy who tried to kill me, _ was unspoken. 

“Your grades must be awful.” The small humor behind it made him want to cry tears of joy. It made him remember all the nights they spent together, he didn’t let himself think of them being an act. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I was top of the class this semester!” Akira let mock offensiveness seep into his words, a dramatic hand placed against his chest in false agony. 

Akira revelled in the small laugh Akechi gave in response, making him almost completely forget their current circumstances. 

“I wish you had killed me.” The words were muffled by his pillow, as Akechi laid down facing away from him.

It didn’t help dull the pain of the words.

Again they surprised him, again, they shouldn’t have. 

Akira’s throat closed up, be it from holding back a sob or from just how many things he wanted to say. He wanted to shake him until he understood he would’ve never been able to do that, tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he forgave him. He wanted to tell him how he pulled every single one of his punches during their fight, in fear of hurting him. He wanted to rip Shido’s throat out with his bare hands. He wished it didn’t have to be like this. 

But it was, it happened, but they were alive and that had to be enough right now. 

“Try to sleep.” Is all he said. Akechi huffed before nodding, moving slowly to fix the sheets around himself, all the way to cover his nose. Now he noticed the biting cold in the attic, the frost gently glazing his window. The forgotten heater only a few steps away. 

He moved from the bed, Akechi barely jostling. He wasn’t asleep, Akira could tell, but he wasn’t going to press. 

Instead, he sat on the floor, in front of the heater, warming up his limbs, and the room slowly. 

Once again all was silent, he couldn’t help but to think. Of all the past months, of all the memories he’d made with Akechi, of the love confessions he furiously kissed onto his lips instead of voicing them out loud. He thought of it all, the betrayal, the phantom pain of a bullet in his head, the scalding tone of his would be last heard words.

Akira remembered more sleepless nights that followed, the ache in his heart and emptiness in his bed. How he felt he’d failed him.

Some leader he was, some hero. What good was he if he couldn’t save Akechi? 

Makoto had told him he was beyond saving, Ryuji had cursed his name in a billion colourful ways and everyone had agreed. 

Sae told him he couldn’t save someone who didn’t want to be saved. 

Sojiro, made him coffee, and told him, Akechi didn't believe he could be saved. 

He didn’t know which one hurt more but the pain from it was slowly alleviated by the soft sounds of Akechi snoring only a few feet away. 

He stole a glance at his sleeping face, even in his sleep he looked troubled. Akira wished he could give him relief of his dreams. 

But he was alive, he was away from Shido, and that had to be enough right now. 

**Author's Note:**

> HOOO MY FUCKING GOD. not in honor of p5r release. if you haven’t seen spoilers well hunny babey stop reading right here. There’s a lot we still don’t know and haven’t seen and also everything’s in japanese. I’ve seen the “bad” ending and “true” ending and babe.... if that’s the BAD ENDING??? that’s all ima play lmaoo it’s gorgeous also akechi is FUCKING THERE. I wrote this a week ago so this doesn’t really have any influence from what i’ve seen of P5R, but like Is it what i would’ve liked?? maybe. A fever pipe dream of wanting GORO AKECHI TO LIVE. Anyways. Hope you enjoyed please expect more of my angst akechi fics cause dear god do i have a lot of feelings for this boy. Thank you!!


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